These are YOUR amazing stories. Thanks to all of you for sharing them:
I have a 5-year-old daughter that is a sensory seeker. She has been in occupational therapy since she was 2 years old. I should also add that she is an identical twin. She is the type of kid that can suck the life out of you due to her need to have constant physical contact and no personal boundaries. She is able to work well in school, but has high demands on me, her mom. I find myself ignoring my other children because of her constant expectations of me. Her response to situations that did not go her way, was to tantrum. At age 2 her tantrums averages 20 times per day. Now they average about 4 per week. I can also stop the tantrums in a short amount of time. The way I have gotten to this point is in several way. First of all, I am very, very structured. I give plenty of notice before making a transition to another activity. I also insist on independence– making beds, puting on clothes, coats, organizing backpacks for school, etc. I follow through on my consequences if punishment is necessary, I follow through. Reward charts never worked for me. Time outs were only beneficial when dealing with a tantrum. I have also had to open up my heart more for me to tolerate all of her needs. I make special times for my other kids so they feel loved and special too. Basically, a mom’s job is never done.
KPF Deerfield, IL 1-18-10
Henry (now 12) was identified as gifted in 2nd grade… but was always the odd kid out from birth. Always had difficulty with social skills and fine motor. My husband and I always knew something was not quite right. In 4th grade he was accepted to a g/t program in our district. Since he was “quirky” and not a conventional learner, we were quickly called in for a conference to discuss if he really belonged in the program. Shortly after the conference with the teacher the class was tested on progress… he tested highest in the class in all areas… no further mention of any problems after that. But, they also looked the other way on the possibility of a learning disability or any support for him… since he was not failing enough to qualify for services (the twice exceptional shit sandwich).
In 5th grade he imploded. Could not handle the written workload, could not handle the comments from peers and teachers… full blown depression… he was hospitalized for two weeks. My heart broke a hundred times. We had him tested for everything… twice. Finally found an amazing psychiatrist that “got it” and gave us the diagnosis of gifted/somewhere between mild aspergers and non verbal learning disability. We got an IEP at school.. some medication… got the poor kid a keyboard accomodation.. put him in a social skills group… weekly therapy… and boom.. his eyes smiled again!! He has hit bumps in the road.. as we all do.. but is now doing great in 7th grade.. has a few friends and teachers that understand him… and respect him.
It has been a long road. And I know that parents of struggling kids work so much harder… as do the kids…. and we also beam at every accomplishment.. cause we know!! So on that… I “get it” if you ever need to vent… need some guidance with the IEP process (which you will need when you get to elementary school).
Keep on keepin on… Max is lucky to have a creative mom who is his biggest fan!
LW 1-21-10
I am a recently diagnosed adult with ADD. The Diagnosis makes perfect sense to me, and I’m sure it would to the teachers, who thought it was my job to make them miserable. I can relate to ‘obsessive concentration’ on any task that I find fascinating, for countless hours—there is no “clock.” One insight that I gleaned from Dr. Edward Hallowell (an M.D. and Phd. with ADD) is that for people with ADD there are Two States—”Now” and “NOT Now.” I see it everyday, in myself. I commend to you his books—including, Driven to Distraction, and Crazy Busy and Superparenting fo ADD. Here is his website: http://www.drhallowell.com/.
Thank you for your sharing, humor, forthrightness and most of all, for loving Max.
With Love and appreciation,
Brian Byers
North Hollywood, CA
Mindy Hester
