Mindy and Max's True Life

about coping with ADHD, single motherhood and unconditional love for your child.

Maybe The Fish Are Right. November 23, 2010

I am thinking that maybe Guppies got it right. They have sex constantly, I mean a male guppy can rub up against a female and “bam!”, there it was. She may not have noticed a thing, but he rolled over and is fast asleep. It’s like a handshake. I challenge anyone of the three people who still follow my blog to say they get “too much” sex.

Then there’s the “no real career-but to swim around the tank” thing, which I find quite chill. They are like Geisha’s, only there to look pretty and in return kept safe, fed and clean. Little whores.

But the thing that gets me, the thing that I really think they’ve got a handle on is when they have their babies. See, they pop them put and eat them faster than you can say “It’s a bo….”. Gulp. Ah, that was delicious. And now I know why!

Because Motherhood is hard. Motherhood can make you insane. But, most of all, Motherhood will break your heart every single day for the rest of your life. Because a heart, at least my heart, wasn’t made big enough to hold all the love I feel for this child. The love has started to bleed out to other organs who have stepped up to the plate to pick up the slack. My brain, lungs, stomach, liver and soul have done double shifts and I am exhausted. But every night, I go to sleep with a smile on my face. Because every day is going to be better than the one before. And every day he is going to get closer and closer to the beautiful man I can’t wait to meet. Damn, I can’t wait to meet that guy.

Until then, I will look into renting out a storage pod to hold all the love overflow. Maybe I should get two.

 

Mother’s Day March 27, 2010

at the beach 2009

My #1 Guy.


Today’s the Fourth of July.
Another June has gone by.
And when they light up my town I just think what a waste of gunpowder and sky.

I’m certain I am alone.
And harboring thoughts of our home.
It’s one of my faults that I can’t quell my past, I ought to have gotten it gone.

Oh, baby, I wonder if when you are older, someday.
You’ll wake up, and say “My God!” I should have told her. What would it take.
But, now here I am and the world’s gotten colder.
And she’s got the river, down which I sold her.

Always reminds me of myself, my adoption, my birth mother and what she must have gone through to give up her baby. I can’t imagine. I was just thinking of her tonight. We lost touch. I’m not sure if she’s even still here. Might as well take the chance, huh? Deborah Bean, Columbus Ohio.

Goodnight to all the amazing Mom’s out there, who inspire me to be a better woman, a better person and a better Mom.

 

 
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