A dear old friend from college (The terribly talented and smart as hell Matt Champagne, who happens to be showcasing for the Montreal Comedy Festival. Thursday February 18, 2010 at Bar Lubitsch (7702 Santa Monica Boulevard, West Hollywood, CA 90046) @ 8:30 pm. Do check it. I’m just saying.) , well my old friend once told me (actually it was Tuesday that he told me…) he told me that years ago he made a pact with himself while he was a regular on MySpace to write at least 300 words a day. For an entire year. He said it was a challenge he gave himself, and he did it. He wrote 300 words on that web page everyday for a year. Amazing.
For him. But there is no way I have that kind of will, nor tub of knowledge and experience to dip into when my cup is dry and, especially, any semblance of recall to remember to write the damn thing everyday in the first place. So, hats off to Matt Champagne ( www.remainchampagne.com). He made a pact, he kept it, he created something that wasn’t there before he put pen to paper. I admire him, not only as a super-talented actor and comedian, but as the best guy to get to have my first exciting yet awkward “first kiss on stage” with.
So, I have decided to make a pact to try to post everyday. Not 300 words, mind you. And, don’t harp on me and get all high and mighty if a few posts are kinda lame (you know, I throw up a cute photos of Max and some stupid You Tube video. We all have our lost days). But, know that I am working on it. I will try, because this weird bloggish-diary-mirror into my life has worked. I feel less edgy in the morning before coffee, more open to answering a phone call that says “ACS REcovery Service”, and I even accepted a gift. Yes. A gift out of nowhere. With only the best of intentions.
I am not very good at taking gifts, being the source of pity, accepting compliments, eating leftovers or blind dates. But, A woman, a friend and fellow Mom did something so nice for me today that I almost went into a sort of shock. This doesn’t happen to me, because of course I don’t ever let it happen. But, she was kind, sincere and was doing this “Mitzvah” for me ( to the goys: A Mitzvah is a good deed, going out of your way to help a fellow human being,and, no, not just help other Jews) She was doing this because she cared about me, she said she “Wanted” to do it, and to please let her do it. It was a first. It may have taken almost 10 min., but in the end I said “Thank you, I will accept your gift. Thank you.” Hardest two words to say in the English language; “Help Me”. I am so terrible at this. And it is something I need to learn to do, ask for help…accept help, if I am to do the best for Max. I shoveled my drive tonight 3 times by hand and refused neighbors offers to help. I spend the entire day before my cleaning lady comes, doing what? Yeah, cleaning. I will put a post it up on my bathroom mirror that says “Help Me” and my parents will put me away for good this time.
It’s time to let go a little. Stop holding on to all this shit, this shit ain’t got handles and I’m tired of holding on. I am. So….It’s 2:30 am, but we got the call from school. SNOW Day Tomorrow!!!!
Thanks for listening to my rants tonight. Go tell someone you love them. (…and Thank you, Matt, for your inspiration. Tomorrow I am going to just post an old commercial of yours. I’ll call your people).
Mindy Hester
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