This amazing photograph by M. Berna caught my eye and it tells my story.
I owe it all to you guys, all 1,000 of you who since it’s start 2 weeks ago have read the continuing story of Max and me. Thank you, from the bottom of my soul for your support and love. You see, I need you to keep on reading, because I NEED to keep on writing. It’s keeping me sane, reminding me of things that i should never forget and, most importantly, it’s helping me to be a better Mother.
I know that this isn’t an Oscar acceptance speech, but I do feel the need to show some gratitude to some Mothers who have taught me how to do the job. I have learned the following things from the following Mom’s:
1. Marcy has taught me that there are ALWAYS enough hours in the day to do everything and that if you set your mind to it, you can carry out it all. Your energy astounds me.
2. My Mom has taught me how magical unconditional love is, and how to be a true friend.
3. Diana, you and Rick prove to me that true love does exist and that fills me with hope.
4. Deidre, you amaze me with your dedication, devotion and love for your “only child”, like me too! I am honored to be your friend.
5. Lyssa, although we are just getting to know each other, your easy-going approach to things I would normally freak out about constantly remind me to get a fucking grip. Thanks for the mellow.
6. Kimberley proves that Motherhood under pressure isn’t miserable, and the light outshines the good.
7. The following chicks also inspire me to greatness: Alyssa S. Lana T, Karen Silver & Susie Severin, HB Johnson, Lori Hemesath, Jennifer Hester, Jen Thomas, Samantha Provenzano, Dana Abt, Gabby Rossi, Lisa Rockwell, Amy Udani, Chez Mohler, Emily Nadeau, Heidi Neurateur and Amy Jacobs. You are all Mom’s that rock. Keep it up.
Last but not least, a little tale. 40 (cough, cough) years ago a single, scared and pregnant 18-year-old girl decided that I deserved a better life than the one she could give me. She did something that had to have been so heart wrenching, brave and painful but she went through with it. My birth mother put me up for adoption because she loved me too much to keep me. She knew she wasn’t up for the job and that I would suffer for it.
I have always known that I was adopted, it’s just something that I have always knew and understood as the gift it is. I was never treated differently from my brother and sister who weren’t adopted, never given special advantages and pitied. But, deep down in my heart of hearts I did feel different, I felt special. I felt chosen. And I felt, and still do, like the luckiest girl in the world.
In fourth grade a neighbor started pestering me about being adopted. She asked me if I felt bad that my Mom and Dad weren’t my “real” Mom and Dad. It upset me pretty bad and I ran home crying, not understanding. Because to me, I only have 1 set of parents. I still do. Well, my Mom took me in her arms and held me and said “there is something I want to show you”. She pulled out a yellowed and tattered newspaper clipping from just weeks after I was born. It was a excerpt from an old Dear Abby issue about adoption and ended with the following poem that has stayed inside me my whole life. Parenting has nothing to do with epidurals, diapers and car seats. That’s called pregnancy & babysitting This is true love, from one mother to her adopted daughter.
Not flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously you are my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn’t grow under my heart,
But in it.
Love,
Mindy
Photo courtesy of M. Berna at http://digitalshootingdotnet.wordpress.com/
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Mindy Hester
