Mindy and Max's True Life Blog

The Fearless Coping of ADHD, A soon-to-be First Grader, Single Motherhood and Life. Not just any life…our life. And, we wouldn't change a thing.

Maybe The Fish Are Right. November 23, 2010

Filed under: Love,Mad Max Stories,Occupational Therapy,Spirit — Mindy Hester @ 9:43 pm
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I am thinking that maybe Guppies got it right. They have sex constantly, I mean a male guppy can rub up against a female and “bam!”, there it was. She may not have noticed a thing, but he rolled over and is fast asleep. It’s like a handshake. I challenge anyone of the three people who still follow my blog to say they get “too much” sex.

Then there’s the “no real career-but to swim around the tank” thing, which I find quite chill. They are like Geisha’s, only there to look pretty and in return kept safe, fed and clean. Little whores.

But the thing that gets me, the thing that I really think they’ve got a handle on is when they have their babies. See, they pop them put and eat them faster than you can say “It’s a bo….”. Gulp. Ah, that was delicious. And now I know why!

Because Motherhood is hard. Motherhood can make you insane. But, most of all, Motherhood will break your heart every single day for the rest of your life. Because a heart, at least my heart, wasn’t made big enough to hold all the love I feel for this child. The love has started to bleed out to other organs who have stepped up to the plate to pick up the slack. My brain, lungs, stomach, liver and soul have done double shifts and I am exhausted. But every night, I go to sleep with a smile on my face. Because every day is going to be better than the one before. And every day he is going to get closer and closer to the beautiful man I can’t wait to meet. Damn, I can’t wait to meet that guy.

Until then, I will look into renting out a storage pod to hold all the love overflow. Maybe I should get two.

 

The Tank Of Death: A Human Analogy June 26, 2010

Filed under: ADHD Facts & Opinions,Love,Mad Mindy Stories,Spirit,Welcome! — Mindy Hester @ 4:44 pm
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Hello my friends, family, strangers and those just passing through on their way to something more important. This is my first post in quite some time and I need to write it. Things have been rough, I mean not “death, disease and famine” rough, but rough none the less. I’m a single Mom of a 6 year old amazing little man who just happens to have ADHD and some sensory issues. That is definitely NOT what he is all about. If you’ve read this blog before, you may very well know that we have tried a multitude of different medications and therapies, some worked while others didn’t. At the moment, we are into our second week with the non-stimulant Straterra. Yeah, it’s true what they all say about the non-stimulants…….they do not work. But, I am willing to give it some more time, because at this point I am willing to do just about anything for this little boy.

The Tank Of Death analogy is about me. I have a hobby keeping guppies, and I won this great new tank at my favorite fish store, Fish Planet in Deerfield. I set it up, let it cycle (fish talk for “let it settle”) and added some fish which immediately died. This goes on for weeks, I add fish, they die, I go see Steve at Fish Planet, he gives me some magic potion which I use, fish still die, I get new fish, they die…….you see where this is going. It was The Tank Of Death. I tried everything, but still it killed all who touched it’s waters. Meanwhile, I don’t notice that between all this stress with Max, work, money…yada yada…I have retreated into myself again and have stopped talking. Not your normal everyday talking, but really “talking” to anyone. The wall was up, it was keeping me propped up against it and as long as I stayed upright and breathing I was going to be okay. But, I wasn’t okay. The stress of my life was getting to me and turning me toxic. My thoughts were becoming toxic. I started to yell. I hate to yell. I hated what I felt like.

Steve at Fish Planet finally gave me the plan to cleanse the Tank Of Death once and for all. Take out all living items, Add 1/2 cup of pure bleach, let it filter overnight, add a dechlorinate and that should rid the tank of what was making it so toxic. I did it. I added the bleach, I let it run for 24 hours and when the time was up my TOD (Tank of Death) had blossomed into a TOL (Tank of Life). It now thrives. And, in the process of ridding evil from my tank I decided that it was time to rid it from me. I decided to meditate on something the Buddha had once said ..

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn the past, worry about the future or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly”

Funny thing, it worked. Take a deep breath, make a decision and then do it. An attitude adjustment doesn’t require bleach or chemicals, just kind, positive thoughts. And hope. A full cup of hope.

 

Cival Unrest In A Guppy Tank? April 10, 2010

Filed under: Love — Mindy Hester @ 5:49 pm
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After hearing today’s terrible news out of Poland, I went into my home office in the wee hours this morning to pull up some details on the web. This is such a tragedy for Poland and it’s people, I hope everyone takes a moment tonight to send a prayer their way.

So news of a murdered fish may sound a bit trite to you right now,but that is what I have come to report. I saw it happen with my own eyes and am wondering now what I could have done to prevent this bloodshed. As I sat in the early morning hours, the eerie glow of my computer screen the only illumination in the room, I glanced at the large tank beside me holding my adult fancy guppies. It’s a 20 gallon tank and has got 10 fish. But normally in the early morning I can peek in and they are all asleep. Yes, fish sleep. They hang out around the bottom real still like and sleep. If you turn the light on they wake up, all “Hey, what’s going on! Man, I was sleeping. Whatever” like and get on with their day. But when I glanced over this morning there was serious action going on down at the bottom. There was a pile up going on, there was a rumble. It was 9 against one and it looked like a clip you’d see during Shark Week of a feeding frenzy. 9 of these fancy little pretty fish were going at this one on the bottom, knocking their bodies into him and throwing him against the glass. It was brutal to watch, I was just sitting there stunned and unable to fully process what I was seeing be it that I hadn’t had my coffee yet. The pummeling lasted about 3 minutes, I tried to intervene with the net but the tank is huge and deep and before you know it the poor little guy is floating peacefully to the bottom, sleeping the sleep of the fishes. (Sorry about that last line. I know it was a lame, cheap joke but what am I if not lame and cheap.)

Guppy owners! What just happened? What prompted this social unrest? Did the fish get a little too big for his britches and the gang decided to take him out? Was it just “his time” and they were doing the kindness of a euthanasia-type beating? Was it a Guppy Mosh Pit gone out of control? If anyone knows what happened to my poor little Purple Dragon Male Guppy this morning ,please explain it to me. I feel like I need to call the Guppy UN for a mediation. Comments, questions and outrage is most welcomed.

And to those readers who follow my blog, I have news. Sticking with the concept of bully and victim, my son and his “bully” at school have been getting along better. There have been no incidents and I thought things were on the up and up. The kid just sent out invitations for his birthday party and included all the kids in the class EXCEPT for Max. Max doesn’t know this, but I do. I guess it’s his party and he’s got a right to invite or not to invite whoever he wants, I just hope my little man doesn’t find out he wasn’t included. He was under the impression that he and this boy were starting to become friends. Maybe that’s what the little male guppy thought too as his tank mates beat him to death.

Sometimes we have no idea what’s really going on until we end up floating to the bottom of the tank.

 

Give Birth, Eat A Little Something, Shit… then die. February 7, 2010

Filed under: Funny Shit,Love,Mad Mindy Stories,Spirit,Uncategorized,Welcome! — Mindy Hester @ 11:51 pm
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Over the course of the day (actually more like the course of a week, but I am trying not to sound too pathetic) I have been watching very patiently for my female fancy guppy fish to give birth. I have done this before (geek) so I know what to look for and when to expect on the “Big Day” with all it’s preparations.

So Padme Amadala, my guppies name of course, is showing all the signs so I get her into her little breeder box. If you don’t know what that is it’s a plastic floating tank within the tank that let’s her have her own little place to do her thing, with a slotted middle divider so the kids can fall through after being born and go to their “nursery”. I get her in there, float her away into the tank and start the stare down. I am also really experienced at this part.

Ya, know, I’ve given birth. It’s no walk in the park. So I am seeing this girl spaz out all crazy and stuff, flashing her tail back and forth and I feel for her. I do. I am feeling a connection to this fish through our shared, magical experiences of bringing life into this world. I am routing her on, keeping a positive attitude and wishing I had a big glass of Veuve Cliquot to celebrate this great event, Things were in motion, the first one was coming out, It was so cool….and then it just wasn’t.

Padme’s birth routine is a little different than ours. Over the course of 4 hours I watched her systematically give birth to 17 fry. Each birth was the same. She’s squeeze that pup out, not even 5 seconds later she has turned around and popped the little guy back into her mouth for a little nosh. I mean, she’s been through a lot, she’s got to be famished. She than proceeds to take the longest poop I have ever witnessed a fish poop. This goes on forever. Than about 15 min later, another pup comes out and the entire macabre scene repeats itself. This happens 17 times over the course of the night and it’s exhausting, I’m sure she’s tired too but at least she’s getting some protein. At the end, she slowly starts to float tail-up towards the surface of the water, gulps a few times and dies.

Motherhood. Pregnancy is the easy part. This fish didn’t stick around for the wonder years but I got the feeling by her actions tonight that she might not have been Mother Of The Year. But, she was being true to herself and sometimes busy Mom’s find that really hard to do. She knew what she wanted. This was her last supper, her big farewell tour here on earth and she just wanted a party. A couple drinks, some great food, relax on the can for God knows how long, then float up to space like David Bowie and dream the big sleep. I am sure she died a happy fish. Well, at least she had eaten a little something.

I liked my way better. With tears, and laughter and family and friends surrounding my beautiful new boy who I had no intention of eating. I could never be a fish and do what she did. I mean it. I am telling you, that poop lasted FOREVER.

Eat your fiber,
Mindy

 

 
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